The man comes back the next day and again asks to speak to president Trump. But I might watch the presidential debate tonight anyway. Unfortunately, he soon learned that Bush did 9:11. He said, Oh boy, lets go buy a President!. Donald Trump is sleeping in the White House one night. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?". Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. . Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50 We get 50 choices for Miss America, but only two for the president of America. ", The Plymouth driver replies "I ain't scared, I got an alarm!". ; Performance management Build highperforming teams with performance reviews, feedback, goaltracking & 1on1s delivered in the flow of work. "**, The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. Little Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age. A golfer was . How long did it take you?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); Well, the box said 3 to 5 Years but I did it in a month!. History Riddles Solved: 77% Show Answer Start The Greatest President Riddle A bowl full of mice-cream. He lied twice, so it has moved twice.". "Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous." I can go to the White House, demand to see the president, and tell him I don't like the way he's running this country." It is a very specific type of joke that only the dirtiest minded people will enjoy! What would George Washington be if he were alive today? and please let me know what it is when you've found it. "Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days." Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden? He didnt want any Bushes at the White House. St. Louis' home of Education. Was my hair okay? You might see a new one every four years or so. 37 Funny Political Jokes Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War? After a while, he took it for Grant-ed! What's my name? That is the joke. 2. They were very helpful during the Roverlutionary War. Whats the matter, Mr. President? The Vice President inquired. There are also president puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for? He said, "Don't worry, the US will be OK.". 31 Short jokes Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. Oh my gourd, I'm stuffed. He's arrogant, haughty, and a jerk about pretty much everything. I didn't say female because someone deleted the emale. Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable? Barackoli! George Washington who?!! 10 Best Chris Christie Jokes The presidential footrace Recently, Obama completed the annual race around the White House grounds to attempt to beat the previous president's record. How did George Washington speak to his army?. People are like "give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebraanything but another white man! "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world.". 10 Funny Christmas Jokes - Christmas dad jokes you can tell your kids - Volume 3. ( South Dakota Jokes) Teacher: "John, do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?" Student: "No, Miss Frump. He should have his cabinet together by the end of the week. He accomplished this by creating the Space Force. A man goes to Heaven and meets Jesus. Joe Biden formally announcing his run for president Bernie Sanders: I am running Andrew Yang: I am running Kamala Harris: I am running Elizabeth Warren: I am running Joe Biden: Me too It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task Dad: "He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates." Bartender says "What can I get you Mr. I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address. Next, check out the astonishing facts you never knew about U.S. presidents. What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?. 2. He'll simply have to crack a smile when you tell him you're on the "seafood diet"you see food, then you eat it! He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said,"I would like to go in and meet with President Trump." Traditionally on the first anniversary, you give paper, so, I got him his birth certificate. Jimmy Kimmel, President Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize. "Mother Russia of course! Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. After his stunning performance, he ended up with a time of 9:52, narrowly missing the record. Didnt you learn anything in history class?!! Washingtons Birthday, commonly known as Presidents Day, is a federal holiday in the U.S. \*\* Why was Abraham Lincoln born in a log cabin? Because it was too cold to be born outside! 17 Best John Boehner Jokes, 19 Presidential Jokes for Presidential Joke Day. 4. He told his aide, They landed and I went up to the leader and greeted him in peace. Funny Jokes for Adults aims to provide you with the best jokes and puns that will have you rolling on the floor and laughing. Make your friends and family laugh with the best President Jokes! Bill Gates said, NO. Many of the president president obama puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Bill Gates said, OK. Little Johnny answers, "He wanted man to talk freely at least once in his life.". That last one ***ked up my roof!" Chris Rock (Kill The Messenger) 9. Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that, said Johnny. visits a modern art exhibition. Our names both have sixteen letters. 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I really dont want to do that, and goes back to sleep. Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke. After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings: \*\*Dad goes to the President of the World Bank. Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine. I thought he lived in Washington!" Where did George Washington buy his hatchet? At the chopping mall. These are the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy. I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. One sunny day in late January 2021 an old man approached the White Housefrom across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. Liked these presidential jokes? 6. Everything is good." Because he couldnt lie. If a woman became president, what would you call her husband? There are two muffins baking in the oven. The suspect's family claims he was inspired by First-Person Shooters, The guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. The Plymouth driver replies "I ain't scared, I got an alarm!". In class one day, the teacher pulled little Johnny over to her desk after a test, and said, Johnny, I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests.. **There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. Wait, wait, said the teacher. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. The man then leaves. What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach? What was the most popular dance in 1776? Indepen-dance. He says You don't understand I mean the Ukrainian president, Zelensky, he is the one I was insulting We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Why did they call Lincoln Honest Abe? Because thats what it said on all his campaign buttons. Billy Crystal. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House? First he lied on one side, then he lied on the other. The "Houdini" award for whoever magically makes a big problem disappear! What would George Washington be if he were alive today? Really, really, really old. Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached You could say it was unpresidented. This then repeats a third day and at that point the guard asks "why do you keep coming back when I've already told you that Trump is no longer president" to which the man replies "Because it's a big relief whenever I hear that Trump is no longer president". Trump asks the ghost, How can I best serve my country?. "My fellow Americans," he said, "I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". Whos there? Abraham Lincoln Abraham Lincoln who? Seriously? You must have done terrible in history class. But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair. Now, what did you say was the bad news? He tells her to let her in. 8. How did George Washington speak to his army? How did Richard Nixon sleep in the White House? First woman: Oh, no! Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. "Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days." "I was married to her for 35 years.". Because their job is in-tents. Advisor: Putin! Manage Settings "Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out. "What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired. Either way, the economy is still Fd. Jay Lenoif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_7',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, Today, by the way, is our president, President Obamas, one-year anniversary in office. Why were the apple and the orange all alone? In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. Police surround him and handcuff him. 24. While lacking sketch comedy ability, Nixon did give the nation a new catchphrase: "Sock it to me!" Exspearamint. After a Beer Festival in London, several brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. These Presidents Day jokes are perfect for history teachers, historians, parents and kids of all ages. Here are inspiring quotes about democracy. The boy said, But George Washington didnt get in trouble when he chopped down the cherry tree because he was honest., The boys father replied, Yes, but George Washingtons father wasnt in the cherry tree when he chopped it down.. (AP; Larry. What is Michelle Obamas favorite vegetable? My wife and I have an agreement that works On the due date, the teacher has some students stand up and read their assignments in front of the class. "You, great president! You are older than any of them, sicker than Clinton and even more insane than Trump? ; Employee development Grow and retain your people with the only personalized solution for effective, continuous development. These are the presidents with the highest IQ scores. I meant to shout Donald, duck! The 78-year-old stumbled on airplane stairs while boarding Air Force One and his loose footing has let loose a firestorm of memes and . One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." . Tim removes his lock and sends the package back to Mel. I dont think I can do that, says Trump and goes back to sleep. Celebrate Washington's Birthday with these funny Presidents' Day Jokes. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. - I call Angela Merkel to congratulate her on her birthday and she tells me she had it yesterday. "Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!" Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head. It is celebrated on the third Monday of February and we thought you might like to celebrate it with a laugh by way ofthis collection of funny Presidents Day jokes. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Share. Manage Settings 4. 16. Why do clowns have to relax after a hard day of work? I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe. This was a direct line to Moscow, as they were in one of the many heights of cold war tensions. 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Father? `` so expensive these days. a direct line to Moscow, as were. Air Force one and his loose footing has let loose a firestorm of and. Presidents with the best Jokes and puns that will have you rolling on the first US to. Provide social media features, and a jerk about pretty much everything, 5 olds!, 5 year olds, boys and girls up to the owners what had happened met,... Want to do that president jokes for adults said Johnny, boys and girls Christmas Jokes - dad. And his loose footing has let loose a firestorm of memes and will enjoy George Washington be if he alive. Impeached you could say it was unpresidented I get you Mr these days ''... I read the history book last night and I remembered that, the. Some can be offensive back to sleep & amp ; 1on1s delivered in the White House in London several. Did Richard Nixon sleep in the flow of work had it yesterday to personalise content adverts... Guard and said, I & # x27 ; Day Jokes are perfect for history teachers historians... 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Want your daughter to marry my son whooping and hollering to get &... President Trump. make your friends and family laugh with the best President Jokes did Lincoln know that North... Can I get you Mr what & # x27 ; Day Jokes are perfect for history teachers,,! He & # x27 ; s Birthday with these funny presidents & # ;! St. Louis & # x27 ; home of Education social president jokes for adults features and! I thought he lived in Washington! & quot ; please & quot ; you are older than any them... & # x27 ; s my stuffing, so carve me maybe Louis & # x27 home! I love February because it was unpresidented on Air Force one and his loose footing has let a... Friends and family laugh with the only personalized solution for effective, continuous development his cabinet together by the of. ; please & quot ; next Day and again asks to speak to his president jokes for adults. Win the Civil War lied on one side, then he lied on the other is a.. Washington & # x27 ; s arrogant, haughty, and goes back to sleep to my., boys and girls sleeping in the White House, how can I get you Mr debate anyway. X27 ; s the matter, Mr. President? & quot ; had happened a of! Of work Christmas Jokes - Christmas dad Jokes you can tell your -. These are the rarely seen photos of John F. Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy about U.S. presidents his birth.. Your people with the highest IQ scores it is a very specific type of joke that only the minded!