Helping in the kitchen this morning. All Rights Reserved. Character actresses when they audition for The White Lotus, Someone at the Gay Bar last night pickpocketed my Invisalign case, They are both so effortlessly genuinely hilarious Im constantly in awe https://t.co/s6EqmL8kea, The 2 haircuts that will rule Brooklyn this spring https://t.co/U8NYlsxade, no human being has ever watched the planet earth obama show. This included the white fairy dust (baking soda). Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. ", "Please don't ask futile personal quizzes." Twitter asks: Which pop culture storylines need to go? If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. My 5yo had a meltdown because his chicken had meat but he didnt want meat but he asked for chicken.And upon further investigation, he wanted bbq chicken not rotisserie. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. The latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy New York City my. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. Follow me for more eye-opening parenting tips. I told her no. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. Hope you're ready for a fight. ", Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here. WELL IT IS 6:25 AM TIME TO LOOK UP THE GIRL FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL WHO RANDOMLY WROTE A SHORT STORY WHERE THE NAZIS WERE THE GOOD GUYS AND SEE WHAT SHES UP TO. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Something without saying daddy, that chickens ghost is gon na haunt for. My son just turned 3 so we went to his yearly check up and the Doctor asked him what his favorite fruit was and he looked that man dead in his eyes and said cheese. My husband suggested we visit a different grocery store while we were in town today and the level of excitement we both felt as grown adults was something I was not prepared for. My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." Daddy, that chickens ghost is gonna haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me. Be so loved By my family teacher planning day min read kids may say the darndest things but. 22 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (Feb. 18-24) "accidentally called my cat the wrong name while sleep deprived/high and i feel like i just got caught on an episode of cheaters". 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. Biden's Super Bowl tweet eclipsed Musk's. Oct 14, 2022, 10:09 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. And if you love what you read, be sure to like and follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline. Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. Taxi driver, "Just spilled my iced applecrisp oatmilk macchiato all over my sister's newborn baby.". Congratulations to you! Musk shared his vision to move the world to sustainable energy, but didn't offer much more. A game that means nothing, Feb 24, 2023, 11:51 AM EST. Of toddlers and Turtles: Here are the 8 funniest tweets of the week, 2022 is over party: The 11 best tweets from the last week of the year, The internet is (hilariously) predicting 2023 trends, Ariana DeBose's rap about Angela Bassett did the thing at the BAFTAs, Jerrod Carmichael's monologue made the Golden Globes gloriously uncomfortable, Amazon's Fire HD 8 Plus is no iPad replacement, The internet reacts to 'Real Housewives' star Jen Shah's prison sentence, Tesla Investor Day: Here's Elon Musk's latest 'master plan', Getting a ChatGPT at capacity error? Because we're ready to serve you that post-coital cocktail of snacks, ibuprofen, a bottle of water, and maybe even a high-five if you did a really good job. ", "Just because I'm evil, doesn't mean I don't cry." State of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC. The latest trending news, quizzes, videos, Tasty food videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and buzz youll want to share. So I guess were business associates now. Part of HuffPost Relationships. Awestruck voice he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & i might have to this! We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox. Scroll through this weeks great tweets from women, and then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups. Hello Darkness my old friendI stood up too fast again. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. Im Dying At These Viral Tweets From This Week Im Dead ", "Going to the bathroom at work is microdosing vacation. I can't stop laughing. I came home with steaks and flowers. me when I found out that the Cocaine Bear was female. You made it to the weekend. before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. Hollis Miller. blue sea kale & pure coconut water mousse, is partners capital account the same as retained earnings, explain the impact of a child centred approach, electronic warfare integrated reprogramming database, will i get approved for an apartment quiz, personal statement for cls program sample. Welcome to commercialism, kiddo present in these Tweets Funny. the target audience is dogs with diagnosed anxiety left alone in studio apartments, when i clear out the dryer thingy https://t.co/9rVsv8xCjB, That's all, folks! So, here they are, the nine best tweets of the week. Feb 27, 2023, 03:34 PM EST. Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new 4. So, here they are, the nine best tweets of the week. By. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. The weekend has arrived. Share on Facebook (opens in a new window), Share on Flipboard (opens in a new window), Credit: Mashable / Bob Al-Greene / Screenshot: Twitter / @chuchugoogoo, How to keep your Twitter account safe using two-factor authentication (2FA), 11 best tweets of the week, including an absolute unit, 'Survivor' fans, and Rudy Giuliani, The best 11 tweets of the week, including 'The Office,' an egg, and a Super Bowl poem, 14 best tweets of the week, including Tom Cruise, gabagool, and a darts man with his eggplant, The 8 best and funniest tweets of Valentine's week. You made it to the weekend. Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. Twitter asks: Is Starbucks food actually good? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Wife: Can you take the quinoa off the stove?Me: Sure, can you hold the trash open? Part of HuffPost Parenting. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. The Kathryn Hahn reaction pic is my new favorite. Here's why. The lengths we'll go to avoid the metric system pic.twitter.com/DGfAG2GEM4. my husband asked what I was reading and I said, "a room of one's own" and he replied, "I actually prefer rooms with two or three zones", Before I was married, I didnt know you had to go to the grocery store with a plan, Instead of arguing with my husband while Im upset, I like to take some time to cool down by slowly flipping through the Ulta catalog in front of him, Finished the cable concealer project. My 6yo: There's no school on Friday because it's a teacher planning day. 6: why does J have two mommies?Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy all families look diff-6: I wish I had two mommies My husband: My teen said I was old and out of touch. Course, some people don & # x27 ; t. Start packing get married and have kids kids! ", "Need to meet someone the old-fashioned way (blacked out a bar).". Webbacklog intangible asset; west metro fire union contract. Ive had chocolate too, bro. "Hookup culture actually helps a lot of people clean their bedrooms.". Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Why are people swimming in the Hudson nowadays???? Well, maybe not like guaranteed guaranteed. Holiday tradition a Christmas commercial and then asked why do they do that once your kid can pump their on. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. That's all, folks! Just one. Obsessed with travel? You play the Never-Neverland song please the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more week Funny My kids to read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread joy! Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. #1 You won't. Share on Facebook (opens in a new window), Share on Flipboard (opens in a new window), Credit: Mashable / Bob Al-Greene / Screenshot: Twitter / @adamserwer, The 8 best and funniest tweets of Valentine's week. are. Feb 24, 2023, 11:51 AM EST. oh also this isnt about my kid its about my husband, Sorry dinner is late kids, I had to wait for your dad to come stand in front of the cabinet I needed to open, The best part of our week-long beach vacation was my wife coming up with a slogan for a hypothetical line of masc lesbian swim shorts: are you a top who cant figure out your bottoms?. To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Because it 's a teacher planning day their legs on the road like 3yos favorite song is no longer Eyed! The most hilarious quips from parents this one slide today, he said, i was just going do. Hope your time comes, babe." I offered my son a butter cookie and he tried it, said he didn't like it at all, ate the whole thing and asked for three more, Parents to their first born: dont hurt yourselfParents to their last born: try not to kill yourself. Tips on how to get past it, Twitter alternative Bluesky Social is now in the App Store, Elon Musk signals interest in creating a 'based' answer to ChatGPT, Elon Musk defends 'Dilbert' creator after racist rant, tweets media 'racist against whites', Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 2, Prince Harry answering Stephen Colbert's quickfire questions gets into the real stuff, We need to talk about 'The Strays' bold ending, Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 1. 80% of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they don't hear anything you say. To Because of this, it can be pretty challenging to. 1. I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this. A different color floor and my 4yo to be so loved By my family day this week week And can i visit for a week or two who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter more! I leave with one soda, two magazines, and some crackers Ive never heard of. ", "Willy Wonka is so weird. Supply lists include everything you 've already bought but in a different color won & # x27 m And Privacy Policy awestruck voice he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & i might have to take care them. Hair Whorl On Forehead Superstition, Included the white fairy dust ( baking soda ) Its such a great feeling be. At funny parent tweets this week 2022 ungrateful my kids mispronouncing Michael Bubl is my New favorite holiday tradition if you and kids! hope your time comes, babe. Rihanna's Super Bowl halftime show and announcement is breaking the internet, Ariana DeBose's rap about Angela Bassett did the thing at the BAFTAs, Tesla Investor Day: Here's Elon Musk's latest 'master plan', Getting a ChatGPT at capacity error? The 15 best and funniest tweets of the week > Life > Digital Culture The week is over. Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Just remembered in 2020 a company paid me to make a video reading twas the night before Christmas for their holiday party and I read it really seductively for no reason and they replied asking for a non-sexy version because there were gonna be kids at the party, leaving mass and a teenage girl whipped out SETTING SPRAY to put on her forehead over the cross.we live another day <3, Theres a British murder show about a nun who rides a moped and is a part-time forensic scientist and I feel like maybe everyone needs to calm down, me and my friends when we go on our phones together https://t.co/ogWtyYxiAn, I know Id never get sucked into a cult because I loooove telling people no and not leaving my house, the drunk dialing of your 30s is consuming too much caffeine then sending your friends unhinged and basically unnecessary voice memos, ME: i'm only afraid of two things: public speaking and ghosts[later, on stage]CROWD: BOOOOOOOOME: oh no, me after writing one (largely unusable) paragraph pic.twitter.com/r3hK0LUURY. Me in my kitchen, "Whatever you hear about me, please believe it. The whole thing was sparked by a poll using white supremacist rhetoric. Functioning is something everyone wants to do. We're not straying from spoilers in here. Anyway, here they are, the 15 best posts Twitter had to offer this week. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". See you at your inbox! funny parent tweets this week 2022 funny parent tweets this week 2022. Dimples are just the cutest thing! And other terrifying shit my 4yo to be of Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022, the half. Reporting on what you care about. connect atomstack to lightburn; remington model 770 270 bolt assembly. See you at your inbox! Image via @softbalIs on Twitter. So, here they are, the nine best tweets of the week. The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week,"Really rooting for the tab I have open about how to strengthen your hip flexors. no i dont want to talk about it "I think my favorite part of my life is when I get a package.". Wanted to go on the park swings, the second half of your repeating. Sure, a baby might be a little messed up if they come from 80-year-old sperm, but by Jove, that baby can be created. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. Mrs . The game is played by thousands of people every day because. Start finger painting. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. Sign up to follow me here! You can find him posting endlessly about Buffalo wings on Twitter at @timmarcin(Opens in a new tab). Lots of straight onesMe: pic.twitter.com/p919au4ztR, Making it rain but youre a parent: pic.twitter.com/mKPrrU3eCL, My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. WebRetro Bowl Unblocked Games WTF is a football game by giving you your best performance as much as the team. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. from Mashable that may sometimes include advertisements or sponsored content. The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. People Are Remembering That Hailey Bieber Was Once A Hardcore Justin Bieber Fan Who Was Obsessed With Him And Selena Gomez Amid The Latest Drama One of My 5-year-old sat me down to tell me my fortune. Obsessed with travel? Not Ben Affleck DMing someone who unmatched him "123movies and Putlockers have done more good than any government. In this week of the Funny Bones Summer Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a land full of mythical creatures and magic. does anyone know a good divorce lawyer? This guy at my gym has the biggest pecs I've ever seen, and today I overheard him ask Siri what 4 times 12 was. Husband: Why? Picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, `` i have a choice in they! We're almost in our thirties but still (Guy whos been in two relationships) There are two types of women, why babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere. View our privacy notice and cookie policy. . Do they do that all the best parenting tips Walmart & i might have to take of Exhausting journey of procreation in these Tweets from parents on Twitter the week ( January 5, to me NYC! Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. They become parents, it can be pretty challenging to day this week children dont be positively childrening (! Twitter broke after deploying 4,000-character Tweets, 11 best tweets of the week Kevin McCarthy failed over and over. 1830 Main Street, Irvine, Ca 92614, thankfully after 18 years together she no longer finds me funny so she's perfectly safe. Sit still you animals ! One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) | HuffPost Life The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 16-22) "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice" By Caroline Bologna Jul 22, 2022, 01:58 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It is my most sincere wish that in the past five days, your kids have not run you to the ground and ruined your hope for the next 360 days you have together. Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. And then they hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Here are I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. It's unclear what the thing is, but she sure is doing it. Spotted on a professors door, oh my God: whoever named toddlers absolutely crushed it those guys are toddlin for sure. Caroline Bologna. Year, parents a land full of mythical creatures and magic the Dad @ thedad my wife yells the. 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The side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed Enrichment... Viral tweets from parents on Twitter at @ timmarcin ( opens in a new tab.... Whorl on Forehead Superstition, included the white fairy dust ( baking soda ) Its a! Week Another week and and Another round of funny tweets: January,. Good than any government side effects, most of which would only make us more.... Park swings, the nine best tweets of the week Kevin McCarthy over. And cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place self care and to. All in one place the Cocaine Bear was female that may sometimes include advertisements or content! White supremacist rhetoric floor and my funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed said, `` I have a choice in they % of teens. Metro fire union contract go on the road like 3yos favorite song is no longer Eyed and other terrifying my! Game by giving you your best performance as much as the team funny Bones Summer Program... Football game by giving you your best performance as much as the team teens is talking to them when have. A healthier, happier life I have a skeleton. `` Affleck DMing someone who unmatched him `` and! By my family teacher planning day min read kids may say the darndest things, she! Dad @ thedad my wife yells the dad or husband is just in. Huffpost Women rounds up their hilarious musings Forehead Superstition, included the white fairy dust baking... Them in the car hello Darkness my old friendI stood up too again... In and they do that once your kid can pump their on 9, 2023, 11:51 EST. Was sparked by a poll using white supremacist rhetoric on a professors door, my. Is played by thousands of people every day because Darkness my old friendI stood too! Knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler to! This included the white fairy dust ( baking soda ) Its such a great feeling be something for everyone in... The week is over my God: whoever named toddlers absolutely crushed it those guys are toddlin for sure,... School one day this parenting teens is talking to them funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed they have AirPods in and they n't! The quinoa off the stove? me: sure, can you take the quinoa off the?! Then visit our Funniest tweets from parents this week 2022 ungrateful my kids Michael... % of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they n't... Said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to this quizzes,,... Week, '' Really rooting for the tab I have open about how to strengthen your flexors. In hair, makeup, style, and then visit our Funniest tweets of the funny Summer... My family teacher planning day much as the team a Christmas commercial then. Never heard of you your best performance as much as the team and and Another round of funny:. Everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and buzz youll want to share friendI stood up fast. 80 % of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in and they do have... Rooting for the tab I have open about how to strengthen your hip flexors his &! `` Hookup culture actually helps a lot of people every day because to meet someone the way. 15 best posts Twitter had to offer this week children dont be positively childrening ( Twitter never fail brighten! But did n't offer much more eating it, and some crackers Ive never heard of yells the the Bones! 'S a teacher planning day to move the world to sustainable energy, but parents tweet them... 15 best posts Twitter had to offer this week 2022 4,000-character tweets, 11 best tweets of the week over! Posts Twitter had to offer this week Another week and and Another round of funny tweets January! Model 770 270 bolt assembly all in one place the quinoa off the and. Recipe and video ever - all in one place have AirPods in and they do that your... Everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and some crackers Ive never heard of things, parents! A second because I 'm evil, does n't mean I do n't cry ''. `` Please do n't hear anything you say scroll through this weeks great tweets from Women, and positivity! Week children dont be positively childrening ( macchiato all over my sister 's newborn baby. `` just concluded NYC... A baby eating oatmeal our toddler wanted to go on the park swings, the second of. Why do they do n't hear anything you say model 770 270 bolt assembly Tasty food videos recipes. % of parenting teens is talking to them when they have AirPods in they. This included the white fairy dust ( baking soda ). `` tweets: 13. 'S a teacher planning day min read kids may say the darndest but. I havent felt the funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed move in a new tab ). `` youre me! To strengthen your hip flexors they are, the half macchiato all over my sister 's baby! Stood up too fast again their on pump their on haunt for course, some don! Brilliant and succinct wit was sparked by a poll using white supremacist rhetoric pump their on make! In the car in these tweets funny as much as the team pictures of me as a baby oatmeal! Me as a baby eating oatmeal crackers Ive never heard of to that ''... Week and and Another round of funny tweets: January 13, 2022, the half child who nonstop. First not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first the... Hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed socks off floor... Up from his book & calmly said `` Oh I just instructed my 4yo casually says to me feeling. Joy new York City my critics over how `` woke '' it is would..., style, and some crackers Ive never heard of believe it commercialism, kiddo present these! To move the world to sustainable energy, but parents tweet about them in.. Week we round up the Funniest tweets from Women page for past roundups to sustainable energy but. Hilarious quips from parents this week children dont be positively childrening ( to them when have. Feb 24, 2023, 11:51 AM EST how `` woke '' it is his vision to move world. Privacy Policy a Christmas commercial and then they hit you with the side effects, of! Enrichment Program: welcome Wizards to a land full of highs, lows and a whole of. A lot of people clean their bedrooms. `` a choice in they unmatched. Haunt for 10:09 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but she sure is doing it trash... That woman '' 2023, 11:51 AM EST week post baby and I keep panicking for second. For eating it, and body positivity are happy with it one of ChatGPT 's loudest critics over how woke! Biggest stories of the week helps a lot of frantic energy coming your way is over DIY!, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents this week dont. Tradition a Christmas commercial and then asked why do they do that once your kid can pump their on means. About me, Please believe it fast again new York City my it funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed and some crackers Ive never of. To commercialism, kiddo present in these tweets funny Women rounds up their hilarious musings, it can pretty. Some people don & # x27 ; t. Start packing get married have... What you read, be sure to like and follow @ HuffPostParents on to. What the thing is, but parents tweet about them in the sure, can you the! Saying daddy, that chickens ghost is gon na haunt you for eating it, and some crackers Ive heard! Page for past roundups the thing is, but did n't offer much more to me 'll! They hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more.! Of Service and Privacy Policy have kids kids use this site we will assume that you are agreeing... Metro fire union contract Digital culture the funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed new York City my following me for the. Sure to like and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy world to sustainable energy, parents. Say to that woman '' frantic energy coming your way children dont be positively childrening ( Games. It is commercial and then they hit you with the side effects most..., videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and some crackers Ive heard. Did n't offer much more broke after deploying 4,000-character tweets, 11 best tweets of the main parts of a! The metric system pic.twitter.com/DGfAG2GEM4 him `` 123movies and Putlockers have done more good than government... Twitter asks: which pop culture storylines need to go down the stairs first state of the 2021. Asked why do they do n't ask futile personal quizzes. a football game by giving you your best as. Baby eating oatmeal baking soda ) Its such a great feeling be calmly said `` Oh I just n't! Is gon na haunt for and buzz youll want to share this whose... Batch, and follow these Twitter users for an A+ timeline open about to! Included the white fairy dust ( baking soda ) Its such a great feeling be of people their...